A wonderful, happy, loving boy.
It's a double edged sword, when your child has a neurological disorder rather than a physical disabilitly. He looks like all the other kids. When they are on the high functioning end of the spectrum, there is no adaptive equipment to indicate they are any different than anyone else. But the fact is, they are. And because people can't see a neurological disorder, it's easier to say, "He doesn't need services, he just has a bad attitude...is an intentionally 'bad', disobedient kid...he was raised wrong...insert lame excuse for not wanting to help our kids here".
My son has a higher functioning version of Autism called Asperger's Syndrome. It was only separated out as an individual diagnosis in the 40s. And it wasn't popularly diagnosed until the 90s. And even now, there isn't a clear cut "template" for Asperger's. If someone has some of a group of criteria, they are given the diagnosis. I have no idea how parents who don't have any kind of professional support go through that process. I was working for an agency that specialized in working with young children with disabilities at the time, and our daycare referred us to Children's Development Services who gave us a case manager. Who assembled a team, filled out paperwork, arranged for evaluations and therapies. I had a plethora of resources and support at my fingertips, and I still felt like I was drowning at the time. I spent a year in denial.
So here are some of the things that helped me. Perhaps they'll help someone else as well.