a female in transition...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Stepping off the elevator she felt her spiked heels dip slightly into the dark blue carpet. A glance down the hallway told her she didn't need the gold embossed card she held. Slipping it back into her purse she felt a smile tug at the corner of her scarlet glossed lips. Slowly she started toward the polished oak door at the far end. Enjoying the pull of the leather against her thighs as the mini skirt strained to keep pace with her hips, she tried to picture what was on the other side.
When the box was delivered earlier that day with the familiar seal, her heart immediately skipped a beat. The boxes didn't come regularly, but when they did, she know that for the next 24 hours she would leave her quiet routine behind and enter a land of fantasies fulfilled. She held her breath as she lifted the lid. The usual envelope of cream colored linen paper lay on top of a layer of tissue paper. Putting it aside on the bed she pulled back the tissue. Underneath lay a crimson silk camisole, a black leather mini skirt and pumps with at least four inch heels. "Oh my..."
Opening the envelope she found the card embossed with two sentences: "Bellagio, Suite 510, 9:00. Wear only what I've sent." Pulling the garments out, she was only moderately surprised to see no undergarments included. Glancing at the clock she realized she had plenty of time to prepare so she crossed to room to start running the bath. Two hours later she stepped out her front door into the cool night air and saw the familiar limousine at the curb, driver waiting with the door open.
As she neared the door she pulled out the key card the woman at the desk had given her. The green light flashed and she reached for the ornate gold door handle, admiring the contrast with her long, blood-red nails. She entered the suite at precisely 9:00, silently closing the door and stepping down into the main room of the suite. No lights were on, but the flame from the fireplace dimly illuminated the room. There were two doors opposite each other along the side walls. One of them was slightly open, and a dim amber light shone through the crack. She dropped her purse on the wet bar and walked toward it. She felt her skin begin to tingle, her heart begin to race and her breaths became shorter...
The door slid back silently along the carpet, exposing a circular room decorated in warm earthy tones, lit by muted sconces along the walls. A large, round bed was in the center, covered with a tan velvet duvet. Beside, he stood in black silk pants and a white suede shirt hanging open, exposing the well-toned and tanned body underneath. He was holding out a long flute of Crystal and as she approached the fruity smell mixed with the subtle musk emanating from him floated over her. She took the glass and he took her, his hand sliding under the hem of the camisole. His palm burned as it moved up her spine to caress the nape of her neck. His lips brushed and nipped hers, bringing his other hand to the small of her back and pressing her full against him.
Running her fingers through is thick curly hair, she deepened the kiss, exploring the depths of his mouth and soul. Pulling back for air, she offered him a drink from the flute. He took a sip and trailed the remaining liquid across her exposed chest. She felt it flow down over the hypersensitive skin beneath the thin, silky red fabric and a gasp escaped as his tongue followed it down. Fires banked low in her core as he reached the sensitive peaks, her skin screamed silently as he raised the camisole over her head and cast it aside. Easing her back toward the bed, continuing his ministrations trailing lower down her abdomen, he lowered himself to his knees. Reaching behind her he threw back the duvet to expose the copper colored satin sheets.
Her knees buckled as he began to explore her navel and he followed her as she fell back into the luxurious expanse. He reached behind to the end table and brought another glass. Everything was plush and satin. They rinsed their mouths with wine and sighed into each other as he threw the glass aside and covered her shivering body with is warm, solid form.
posted by Kimber
at 5:35 PM :: ~#~
Saturday, January 20, 2007
She sat dazed and immobilized, absently wondering when she stopped feeling her body. Her eyes were fixed on a blank spot on the wall across the living room, staring through it, watching images from so long ago they seemed like yesterday.
His first steps...birthday parties...skinned knees...broken bones... She watched as he drove off in his first car...introduced his first "real" girlfriend...stood on the porch in his blue tux on prom night...his black robes on graduation day...
Fresh tears made new paths down her red, crusted cheeks.
The girl stopped short when she entered the room. Her heart fluttered when she saw her mother sitting on the couch. A plain white box open on the coffee table in front of her and her hands in her lap, holding something loosely. As the girl approached, her fluttering heart broke. Kneeling next to her mother, she laid her hand over the dog tags and blood stained picture. A family picnic from too many summers ago, she noticed. 'What an odd thing to carry with him.'
Her mother's skin was cold as ice. And she still hadn't moved. The girl wasn't sure she was even breathing. "It was here...on the table...when I came home." The sound startled the girl a bit, but she looked up slowly at her mother, who's eyes were still fixed on the wall. She nodded.
"They brought it just after lunch. Dad took it."
Her mother still sat motionless. As if she hadn't really just spoken at all. Pressing on, her daughter asked,
"Did you know what was in the box...before you opened it?"
The mother felt her lips begin to quiver, tried to take in a breath through a throat clamped shut with grief. The "yes" came out as a weak whimper...the nod became wracking sobs. Raising the picture and the tags to her chest she held close all that was left of her first born son. And she cried his name...cursed his fate...
Outside the window, a bird sang, and a dog barked at a passing car.
posted by Kimber
at 12:03 AM :: ~#~
Friday, January 19, 2007
Crisp...cold...frosted plumes evaporate against the night sky. Before I Became, I would feel the air permiate my clothes, prick into my skin. Now...all I feel is the flutter in my gut as I wait. The moon watches as I watch for her. I know she's near...it's her time. Tap...tap...tap quick on the sidewalk. She feels the chill, she wants to get home...to her warm room...to her cat...to a cup of cocoa... She doesn't know I have chosen her for such a higher purpose. She'll thank me when the time comes. As I step out behind her I hear the crunch beneath my feet. Her steps falter ahead of me. I hold my breath...feel the silence...will her to keep moving... The Voice whispers "Will the leaves help or hinder the game?" I smile as she continues toward the footbridge. We'll soon find out...
posted by Kimber
at 11:22 PM :: ~#~
Thursday, October 02, 2003
**WORK IN PROGRESS ~ DRAFT ONLY**
Cruz waited patiently for the phone to ring. There was no question the call would come today. It had been 10 days since he had spoken to Carey about the book they found in the ruins. The forests of Northern New Hampshire were full of dilapidated settlers camps and cottages, stone circles and wells left by residents long moved on. When they had been hiking that day Cruz and Carey had been thinking of nothing more profound than fresh air and perhaps an idea for their AH401 seminar paper.
When they sat down on a crubling foundation formed from lichen covered field stones to break out their lunch kits nothing but talk of the game last week and parties planned for homecoming was on their minds. "You going to the Omega Moo jam this year?" Cruz asked, pulling the cap on his Aquafina bottle.
"I don't know" Carey said. He crubmled up his napkin and shoved it in the pocket of his pack. "Lynn wants to go but I really hate chick parties."
Cruz snorted and tossed the plastic cap at him. "That's cause you got a chick, idiot."
Carey laughed. "Whatever." He leaned down to pick up the cap that had fallen down into the rocks behind them and saw a flash of white in a crevas. Reaching in he felt around carefully and realized that it was a book.
Carefully, Carey brought it up and set it gently down on the rocks. There was nothing but an inlaid gold symbol on the dark leather cover. No words on the spine either. The odor of wet leather and mold assailed him as he opened the book feeling the smooth leather and stiff pages resist under his fingers.
"What ya got there, man?" Cruz peered curiously over his power bar wrapper at his friend.
"What's it look like?"
"Shut up. I mean what's in it?"
"I don't know yet, I'm trying not to tear it up."
The brown pages were stuck together in spots and crackled loudly as Carey gently leafed through. Rune type characters, strange drawings and formulas in a bizzare script covered the pages he could safely separate.
"Just looks like an old grimoire to me. Probably a witch or shaman lived here a hundred or so years ago and this wall is where they hid it. These woods were full of 'em."
"Is there anything in there that would make a good seminar topic?"
"Hell if I know, man. I can't read runes."
"I'll bet the prof can. She loves that crap. Take it back to her. At least we can get brownie points for digging it up and 'showing the proper scholastic interest' in it." Cruz laughed again and pulled out one of his extra t-shirts. "Here, wrap it up in this and we'll put it in my pack. You're too lame to carry that kind of weight anyway."
Carey shot him a menacing look and took the shirt. He spread it out on a rock, layed the book down and wrapped the book securely. Then he put it in his own pack and stood up to pull the straps up over his shoulder. Taking a moment to get his bearings Carey said "You better hope I don't get back to the car before you do, chump." And headed off back up the trail to the parking lot.
Cruz scrambled to secure his gear and get his pack settled while he was heading up the trail behind. "You suck, man."
As they were cresting the hill, Cruz still felt something in his pack poking into his back so he looked around to adjust it a bit. Suddenly, a furious flapping of black wings surrounded his head and Carey heard his scream from up the trail.
posted by Kimber
at 11:20 AM :: ~#~
Thursday, September 25, 2003
I saw two pink lines on a plastic stick one day
It was too far away
I heard the heartbeat one day
It was too far away
I felt him kick my bladder one day
It was too far away
I saw his little body and great big head on my chest one day
And then they cut the chord...
He was too far away
He slept across from me in bed one day
He was too far away
He slept in a little bassinette one day
He was too far away
He slept in a crib in his room one day
He was too far away
He went to daycare one day
He was too far away
He rode the bus all by himself today
He was too far away...
posted by Kimber
at 3:19 PM :: ~#~
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Enlightenment through annihilation. Nadie felt her shoulder dislocate as her momentum met his inertia. He clung to her wrist as desperately as she struggled through the pain to escape his grasp. The Abyss opened below and she wanted nothing more right then than to be in it. Surrounded by the darkness, the quiet, the absense of thought and feeling she knew awaited her there.
"LET ME GO, CONNOR!" she shouted through the waves of pain eminating from her shoulder.
"No, Nadie. Come back. You don't have to come back to me but come back." his voice was steady, his eyes were firm and she looked away from them.
'Don't look' she told herself. She looked down again. The swaying of her body had almost stopped now, Connor's grip was still hard as steel. The pain in her shoulder was giving way a bit so that the pain in her soul could return. Her breathing became ragged, dragging through her clenched throat, hot tears stinging her eyes. More quietly she pleaded "Let me go, Conner. Just let me go."
Nadie heard the sigh, could almost see the dark lids come down over ice blue eyes. "I can't. I won't. I love you. I wish that didn't cause you so much pain but I do." She looked up to see his forehead lowering to the stone ledge.
"Come back Nadie. Tell me what you want and I'll do it. I'll leave if that's what you really want." He rasied his head again and met her eyes.
"Tell me you don't love me" she said needing to hear it with all her heart.
"I can't do that." Connor shifted his weight, getting his hips and feet under his center of gravity as best he could. Knowing it was going to hurt her more, he suddenly leaned, lifted and pulled her up.
Holding her screaming, trembling body close he lowered her to the ground. Taking her arm in one hand and feeling her shoulder with the other he found the spot. Without a word quickly popped the joint back in place. Nadie's final scream filled the cave and Conner sat back on his haunches while she adjusted.
"Is that what you really want? Is that what this has all been about? The drinking, the running around all this stupidity? You want me to stop loving you?"
Nadie looked up at him and swiped the tears from her face. "You DON'T love me! You can't love me!" She sat up and slammed back against the rock wall across from Conner grimacing as her shoulder hit.
"I don't understand. I guess I never will. I don't know how to get through that cast iron skull of yours. I love you. Whether you believe it or not, I do. I am never not going to love you. You can rant and scream and burn the city down but I will still love you. You can throw yourself off every cliff on the planet and I will still love you. When I am dead and gone you will still have to face the fact that I love you. If you can't face that, if it causes you so much pain that you would rather be dead than let me love you, I can't help you. I can't stop."
He rose and walked purposefully over to her. "Are you going to walk or do you want to be carried?"
"Where are we going?"
"To the emergency room. Then I'm taking you back to your place. From there, it's up to you."
"I'll walk."
posted by Kimber
at 2:47 PM :: ~#~
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
skinned knees, honey bees
first car, first date
slept too long, out too late
5 more minutes mom
PULEEEEEZZZZZEEEEE
Mr. Right, Ms. Wrong
Third floor apartment, milk crate couch
Laundry bags, bottle of Shout
Just one more load mom
Can't stay too long
Welcome home sign, room full of flowers
Cards and hugs, talk and smiles
Emails and phone calls, prayers over miles
We have so many friends mom
Love truly does have power.
We love you.
posted by Kimber
at 1:35 PM :: ~#~